2006 Posts

During the latter part of 2006, as well as 2007 and 2008, I was blogging on my myspace.com page:

blogs.myspace.com/callmehosstng

It's Time.

Well folks, it's time for my blogger.com days to come to an end and for me to move on. I have enjoyed my time and will always have fond memories. The appeal and the immense power of myspace is too much to ignore any longer. Come take a look at the new profile and blog entries at:

http://www.myspace.com/callmehosstng

I'm finished,
Nate

The Movie Super Bowl

A few thought about the Oscars and other stuff.

I turn the channel once in the three and a half hour Oscar telecast because the "Best Original Score" award is coming up. And what happens? Salma Hayek comes out wearing the best dress I've ever seen at an awards show and I friggin miss it. Here's the photo to prove it.


If "Crash" was the best movie put out last year, then Barry Bonds got so big by using a Bowflex machine. I honestly don't even know which one I would've picked. "Crash" was the only one I saw. As one person I read put it, "Crash wasn't even the best movie with Terrance Howard in it last year (Hustle & Flow.)"

George Clooney is the man, even if he is a flaming liberal.

In two of the last four years, the Oscar for Best Original Song has gone to "Lose Yourself" by Eminem and "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" by Three Six Mafia.

Jessica Alba was threatening to sue Playboy for running a picture of her on their March cover. She alleges that the picture damages her reputation and leads people to believe that she posed "nude or semi-nude" in the magazine. Because it's such a stretch to think that the person who wore lefover fragments of lycra and spandex throughout the entire movie "Into the Blue" would ever pose "semi-nude."

Speaking of that magazine, I wonder what the top 5 sure-fire best sellers would be right now in 2006 if they posed in Playboy? I think it would go a little something like this,
5) Jessica Beil
4) Hilary Duff
3) Scarlett Johannson
2) Jessica Alba
1) Jessica Simpson
Not my list, by the way, I'm just saying. Now, I know that this whole commentary is offensive to women everywhere and I shouldn't be thinking of lists like this now that I am no longer in the eighth grade. But I spent too much time and energy thinking of it to leave it out.

I'm saying right now that Connecticut wins the men's basketball championship this year. I have a good feeling about them this year. It's the same feeling I had in 1999 when they beat Duke in the finals and I didn't pick them. I had the same feeling in 2004 when I picked them to win the online pool. I think Julie's brother is still reeling from that beat down.

Domino (Keira Knightley, Mickey Rourke) - I loved this movie. It is based (very loosely) on the life and times of Beverly Hills kid turned bounty hunter Domino Harvey. It's a straight action flick that sprinkles in some delightful little nuggets of drama and even some romance. The movie is cut at a frantic pace, jumping from one scene to another like a music video, which is a technique that I usually hate. In this case it seemed to mirror the manic style of the storyline and complimented the plot righteously.

There is a fair amount of comedy as well, intentional and otherwise. A particualrily hilarious scene takes place with Mo'Nique on the Jerry Springer Show, singing the praises of her proposed racial subclassification including "Blacktino" and "Hispanese."

Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, Keira Knightley is smoking hot. She may be the most attractive woman in Hollywood that's under a C cup. The combination of action sequences and scant bounty hunter outfits is enough to make a fella fall in love.

And the rest of the cast! You've got Keira, Mickey Rourke, Chris Walken, Mena Suvari, Lucy Lui, Delroy Lindo, Edgar Ramirez, Mo'Nique, and my personal favorites... Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green playing themselves. That's right! Steve Sanders and David Silver back together again... 90210 style!

Bad News Bears (Billy Bob Thorton, Marcia Gay Harden)- Cute remake of the 70's classic. Has some funny parts but never really focuses on a demographic that it is geared to. The kid's uniforms are sponsered by Bo Beep's Gentlemen's Club, and that's pretty darned funny.

I'm finished,
Nate

Let's play ball!

For something with such a grandiose name like the world baseball classic, you would think more people would care. The competition starts this week with teams from around the world vying to win the coveted... I actually don't know what they win. I bet it's something good, though. Like a King Size Kit Kat or something.

I'm approaching this competition with cautious optimism. I think it will be an interesting endeavor in international competition and I always love to see players out there giving it all for their homeland. Laying it on the line for the country of their birth.

Oh, wait... Mike Piazza is playing for Team Italy. That's Norristown, Pennsylvania's own Mike Piazza catching for Italia. Are you kidding me? That's only one instance. The big debate for the American team earlier this year was whether or not Alex Rodriguez would play for the United States or the Dominican Republic. There were pros and cons to each side. The biggest argument for playing for the U.S. being, I don't know, he was born in friggin' New York City!

(Actually, I think it was all just a show by A-Rod until he found out that neither team would pay him more for being on their team. I'm surprised he even agreed to be in the thing after that. I swear to god, if North Korea offered to pay A-Rod more to play for them, he would change his name to Kim-Il Rod and move to P'yongyang. I hate that guy.)

I don't get this roster thing at all. A-Rod decided to play for the U.S. in the end, but Piazza is playing for Italy and Nomar Garciaparra was going to play for Mexico (which I'm sure he's been to a few times, but he was born in California.) You could make the argument that Piazza is not the best catcher the U.S. has to offer (hell, that's not a argument, that's a known fact), but if that's the case he should just not be playing at all. Could Chan-ho Park be on the United States pitching staff? Absolutely not. But he and Byung-Hyun Kim (who's kind of an anti-relief pitcher in all honesty) are the studs of the South Korean rotation. And guess what? They were both born in South Korea! I looked it up!

All that aside, the real fun may be off the field as the crazy Cubans come to town. Cuba and the U.S. have always had a tenuous relationship. There was that missile thing back in the day, assassination plots and that decades-long embargo thing. The Cuban team had to receive a special sanction from the government just to participate in the tournament. You can't tell me their aren't going to be at least two or three Cubans that do the dollars to pesos conversion of what a fifth string middle reliever makes in salary and decides, "Screw communism, I'm getting myself a pair of Timberlands!"

MOVIE REVIEW

Doom (Eric Urban, The Rock) - I loved the video game that this movie was based on and always wondered why they never made a movie about it. I wish I was still wondering. Guns. Mars. Demon creatures. That's about all you need to know.

I'm finished,
Nate

Leeets Go Wiiiildcats!

I spent the weekend in Marquette to take in some hockey and enjoy the company of Gabe, Gabe's sister Rheannon, Ashly Shannon (with her crew) and the Puckheads. "Oh how I hate" Ohio State was in town for two games to finalize the seeding for the CCHA playoffs. I put off going to the game on Friday night until Gabe's sister got into the MQT. By the time Rhea got into town, we ended up deciding not to hit the game and hit the town instead (Nickel, Shamrock, Remie's, Upfront.) After the bar we made some late night dinner then spread pizza sauce on each other while purposely pouring beer on ourselves and the floor. Don't ask.

Saturday was a typical day of Gabe and I running some Roxbury and having some beers. Also, there's this stuff in the Northern part of Michigan that is white and falls from the sky. The locals call it "snow" and apparently it's not uncommon to get 6-8 inches of it in one night.

Northern hockey came out very flat on Saturday night against the Buckeyes. After falling behind 2-0, the Cats got it together and scored 4 unanswered and with Nebraska-Omaha losing, locked up a first round bye with a 14-12-2 record in the CCHA. Not as bad of a finish as I was predicting. I thought as a whole, the CCHA was down this year, but after some research, I found that the 30 points we earned this year would have dropped us in 4th place in the CCHA last year as well, when UNO held down the spot with a 13-11-4 record (30 pts.)

Saturday night was more of the same with stops at Overtime, Nickel, Skybox, and ending up briefly at The Matrixx. Then things got loopy. Rheannon and I decide to leave because it's getting close to 2am and Gabe's finding his own way home. We see some obviously intoxicated kid stumbling down the side of the road and looking freezing. Because Rheannon is a generous, we pick this kid up. Here's the conversation that ensues:

Nate: "Where are you going?"
Kid: "I don't know."
N: "Where do you live?"
K: "Houghton."
N: "Are you staying with someone?"
K: "Yeah, but I don't remember where they are. Either Marquette or Negaunee...with my truck."
Voice in Nate's head: "God damn it."

So, after ignoring my idea to drop him off and let the police scoop him up, we take the kid up to Econo Foods, where I spend the next 2 hours getting ahold of his mom in friggin' Gaylord and getting a relative from the area to come pick him up. Can you get good points for karma if you didn't really want to help the person in the first place?

MOVIE REVIEWS

Four Rooms (Tim Roth) - An older movie told in four seperate but intertwined segments about the night of a bellhop at a past-its-prime luxury hotel on New Year's Eve. Each segment was directed by seperate folks, including one each by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. I love this movie (especially the final segment) and have since back in the day. Always fun to watch a movie that you know is going to deliver beforehand.

Waiting (Ryan Reynolds, Anna Faris) - Hilarious. Although it was not received well at the box office ($16 mil), I have a feeling that this movie will have a huge cult following. Maybe not quite as big as a Napolean Dynamite, but probably along the lines of an Office Space. Ryan Reynolds delivers the goods in his signature deadpan style (when doesn't he.) There's a lot more to this film than the gross out gags and the male genitalia references, but even if you just focus on those parts, it's not bad. I'll let you decide for yourself.

Rent (Rosario Dawson, Taye Diggs)- Of course this is the film adaptation of ultra-popular Broadway musical. That being said, I actually enjoyed this movie for the most part. After a slow start, the second half is definitely worth the price of admission. Plus, few things put a smile on my face like the fact that a movie about AIDS, drugs, sex and poverty is directed by the guy who brought us Home Alone and Mrs. Doubtfire.

Havoc (Anne Hathaway, Bijou Phillips) - This thing was just a mess from start to finish. Just a formulaic and uninspired movie about white kids acting black. (And poorly I might add. Some of the worst "gangsta" dialogue in the history of movies.) The plot was fairly predictable and I'm not sure there ever was a defined point or goal. So, how could anyone find any redeeming value in this clunker? Oh, I forgot, Anne Hathaway (a long way from the Princess Diaries) and Bijou Phillips get naked in the same scene. Tastefully done, of course.

RANDOM MOVIE QUOTE!!!

Manager: "We need to seize the day. Be enthusiastic."
Floyd: [enthusiastically] "Aw yeah! Carpe Deez Nuts! God, I can't wait to quit this job!"
-Waiting (2005)

I'm finished,
Nate

What the...?

Hilarious article from the Post-Crescent which I had to reproduce on this blog...

The Post-Crescent

APPLETON — Appleton police, believing someone was hurt inside the second-floor apartment at 121½ Atlantic St., broke through the front door to find 46-year-old Ronald O. Johnson lying on the floor in extreme pain.

Johnson’s assailant had opened a window, broken out the screen and jumped from the second-floor window to escape before officers entered the apartment.

Police are still searching for the 26-year-old man who apparently lived at the same address. Officers had responded to the address after a neighbor heard parts of the disturbance and made forced entry when no one answered the door.

Johnson was transported to an area hospital with broken ribs. When it turned out he had a bench warrant out for his arrest from Shawano County, he was booked into the Outagamie County Jail. He was released Friday morning after posting a $10,000 bond on a non-criminal matter.

Johnson told police his roommate began beating him after the two had an argument about a cribbage game they were playing.

Thoughts On That Thing Going On In Italy

A few observations from Torino (about a week after everybody else.)

Is it just me, or is the short track speed skating relay look like the single most difficult thing known to man? These people are skating around a hockey rink trying to time the tagoffs perfectly so as not get out of control and run into things, like other skaters... or the audience. In one of the women's relays last night a Chinese skater got her team disqualified and looked like she was about to charge someone WWE style. I think we need more of this. I propose in the next Olympics we have an exhibition sport: speed skate derby. Just like roller derby, only with contestants on sharp skates. As I've always said, nothing personifies the spirit of the Olympics quite like a double clothesline.

As far as Olympic hockey goes, I'm sick of hearing people who are shocked about the USA men's hockey not getting a medal. Who decided that we were better than Canada, Sweden, Russia and Finland all of a sudden? At hockey? We have over 4 million children born in this country every year and approximately 25 of them get into hockey as a youth sport. And we're surprised that we didn't get a medal in hockey? Shamus O'Toole has a better chance beating Ethiopia's Hailu Negussie in the next Boston Marathon. OK, that's not a fair example, but judging from the way these games turned out for the Americans and Canucks, the balance of power in international play has definitely shifted to Europe.

The US Olympics team was full of "disappointments" this time around (Sasha Cohen, Bode Miller, hockey, that snowboarder that decided it would be a good idea to show off in the single biggest race of her life and crashed.) I think this will give the red, white and blue a chance to suck it up and look ahead to what we can do to make things better for the Vancouver games of 2010. First priority: Add more sports that we're good at. An artificially created advantage is always welcome. Some early favorites are: Snowy Road Auto Crashing, anything with snowboards (polo perhaps) and Using Feet and Inches to Measure.

Of course I won't sit here and say nothing good came from these Games of the XX Winter Olympics.

Tanith Belbin. 'Nuff said.

I'm finished,
Nate

Wedding Bells

I spent the weekend in the Gurnee, IL area for the wedding of my best friend Grant Murray and Julie Schenning. I have a slew of pictures which I will put up the link to hopefully within the next week or so. This was my first time being in a wedding party as well as being the best man and I thought that I would document the timeline for nostalgia's sake.

Thursday
12:00pm - Done with work.

2:30pm - Navigate surprisingly smoothly through Milwaukee traffic.

3:45pm - Arrive at Casa de Murray

4:45pm - Murray and I grab a couple of brews at a local dive bar called T.G.I. Friday's while we are waiting for Adam (the other best man) and his sister to get into town. Gurnee, IL is the type of area that we had to drink beer in a T.G.I.'s because there are no local bars in sight.

5:30 - Adam, Grant and myself go to After Hours to get our tuxes. You should have to spend a minimum of an hour in your tuxedo when you try it on. That way you'll be able to know things like: the elastic that makes your pants "adjustable" is woefully inadequate in the "keeping your pants up" department, you should have professional assistance available for cufflinks and buttons, and your shoes are going to feel like midieval torture devices after a very short time.

6:30pm - A gourmet dinner of tater tots, roast chicken, and Blue Moon beer.

7:00pm - More Blue Moon.

8:00pm - More Blue Moon and the arrival Dave Graham (groomsman) and his wife Diane who get in from Florida and inform us that they drove most of the way up on a semi-flat tire. Pure guts on his part. I was afraid to drive down there from Wisconsin without getting an oil change first.

8:30pm - No more Blue Moon. B double E double R U N.

9:10pm - Grant, Amanda, Adam and myself return with a case of Miller Lite and a couple bottles of wine.

9:10pm to 11:00pm - Gabbing like kids who haven't seen each other since school got out for the summer.

11:00pm - Lights out.

Friday
8:30am - Donuts and bagels.

9:15am - Go to Sports Cuts for a trim. Apparently telling the haircut specialist that you want the sides and the back trimmed up and to leave the top of your head alone is not enough. You must have to actually wear a cap on your head to indicate: "I really mean it. Don't cut anything off the top of my head." Every person that has ever cut my hair is in agreement that I look simply dashing with a flattop. Jeez.

10:00am - We run into Dave and Diane getting tires changed at Sears Grand in Gurnee Mills Mall.

10:15a - Shopping ensues. I've been to Gurnee Mills just about every time I've visited Grant over the last two years. This is what I've bought: Nautica lanyard ($2.50), Nautica Towel ($12.00), Perry Ellis Belt at T.J. Maxx ($9.99) Not exactly keeping the economy strong.

2:30pm - Grant and I meet his parents and Brian at the hotel the reception is going to be at. We proceeded to pick up the tuxes for Grant's dad, Brian, Pat (his brother) and Pat's two kids. Surprisingly, this turned out to be less of a circus than we'd expected.

3:30pm - Competitive Playstation begins. This is also the point that Brian comes up with this gem: "Nate, there are two types of people in this world. Wolves and everybody else. I'm watching you play this hockey game right now on the Playstation, and you don't look much like a wolf." The mantra of "Be a wolf." stayed with us for the remainder of the weekend.

6:00pm - Wedding rehearsal, which should be renamed "Attempt to keep both families happy." Stand here. Turn now. Walk out now. Got it.

7:30pm - Rehearsal dinner at In-Laws Bar and Restaurant, known far and wide as the "Home of the six dollar rum and coke." Had some good pizza and chicken, though.

9:30pm - The groomsmen retire to Grant's house for some hot cocoa and a rousing game of charades. I'm just kidding, we got lit and Brian tried to burned the house down. The rest of the night we swapped stories with topics including life, love and "Guess who's having another kid."

2:00am - Everyone is in bed except for Dave and myself who are up drinking wine straight out of the bottle and discussing how the government spends $500 on a hammer. Hey, to each their own.

2:30am - Bed time.

Saturday
7:45am - Miraculously, Brian and I are both awake and able to check into our hotel rooms so that we don't have to handle it between the wedding and reception. Very nice rooms in this place.

9:00am - Grant, Brian and I have two jobs: a) drop Grant's car off at the hotel they'll be staying at and b) getting Julie's car washed. Do you know how many other people are getting car washes at 10:00am on a Saturday morning. I'll give you a hint, it's somewhere between "a lot" and "everybody."

11:30am - We show up "late" at Jack Daniels's house (not a joke, Jack Daniels is Julie's brother in law) to make a quick change into our tuxes and then... wait around for two hours. Unfortunately, at this point my head is still pounding from the night before and Jack doesn't have any pain relievers in his possession. No problem, not like I have to stand around for four hours before I get back to the hotel to get some ibuprofen.

2:30pm - What time is it? Wedding time! Hoomph!

3:00pm - I have two jobs in this wedding as best man. Give the rings to the pastor and walk out with Jessica (Julie's sister and matron of honor.) It would have been FANTASTIC if the pastor had said at the rehearsal, "Make sure the rings are not in the box when you give them to me." Help me to help you.

3:30pm - Pictures.
4:00pm - Pictures.
4:30pm - Cocktails! Nope, more pictures.

4:45pm - I have the distinct honor of driving Mr. and Mrs. Murray to the reception. Thankfully they decided to shun the tradition of driving around in a convoy honking the damn horn. That I would not have been able to handle.

5:30pm - Cocktails and a speech from Adam and then yours truly. That was followed by a great dinner featuring chicken, mashed taters and some roast beef.

7:30pm - I get the 45th comment from an Illinoister about how everyone "loved the Yooper accent" in my speech. Whatever.

8:00pm ish - A hilarious ritual ensues after the food is carted away. A time honored tradition designed to stimulate the endorphines and entertain the masses. Of course, I refer to "White People Dancing."

9:00pm - The "great night spot" next door begins filling up with thug like folks, some of whom are getting full-body, airport style searches from the security guards. Ummm, this is the place we are supposed to hang out at after the reception?

9:30pm - Erich, Deana (hope I spelled that right), Melissa, Grant and myself dance to a Puckhead classic, "Sweet Caroline" while each taking turns with the Puckhead helmet on.

10:00pm ish - The garter toss and bouquet toss. I catch neither.

10:30pm - We've now graduated to "Drunk White People Dancing."

11:00pm - Grant tells me that someone "might have shot out the front door of the hotel." Ummm, what!?!? Apparently someone ran a drive by on the front door of the country club. I am not making this up.

11:30pm - Reception is over and we now have two choices. Either go back to the room where we have 10 beers for 5 people -OR- go to the scary night club where there may or may not be several people with handguns. Not a tough decision.

1:30am - The crew that had been hanging out in my room, Erich, Deana, Mel and Shawn retire for the evening.

Sunday
9:00am - Within mere yards of the shot-out front door, my crew and I fearlessly eat a complimentary buffet style breakfast.

10:00am - Grant calls my room to inform me that he left the keys to his car in Julie's vehicle, so I have to go scoop them up at the other hotel.

12:30pm - I head home, left with some great memories and pictures from the weekend I gave my hetero lifemate away.

Congratulations to Grant and Julie. As soon as I have the pictures uploaded, I'll put up the link.

I'm finished,
Nate

Overused Joke Hall of Fame

Sildenafil citrate. Originally designed to cure a heart ailment, it was the side effect of this drug that made it the most famous pill in the US since AZT. Though only available by prescription, it has more commercials on TV than Children's Tylenol. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I'm talking about the wonder drug, Viagra.

I know that most of you are saying, "Um, Nate? Where are you going with this?" Just bear with me.

If we remember correctly, when Viagra first came out, it immediately ascended to "easiest punchline" status. Think about it. Leno and Letterman probably looked at the newspaper and exclaimed, "They're going to make a pill that will cause an erection? That's a comic gold mine!" They then laid off half their writers.

So we start getting these gems:

"We now know Saddam Hussein takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy, he's one of their own."
(Chuckle.)

"Did you hear about the fire in the Viagra Factory? There was a delay in reporting it, because Pops, the night watchman, was busy getting laid."
(Yeah, real funny.)

"Stock market was up today, it must be..."
(All right. You know what? Stop.)

Viagra became its own joke and it was not that funny. It became a sophomoric comedy shortcut and I think most of us were tired of it after about a week.

Why am I bringing this up? Because I realized the other night that Brokeback Mountain is the new Viagra joke. Just take a mental inventory, how many gay cowboy jokes have you heard in the last month? This movie is going to win the Academy Award for Best Picture and many Americans have turned it into a punchline for a gay joke. That's America for you, we make a daring movie about a previously unexplored topic and everybody looks right past that and switches into Beavis and Butthead mode.

I saw Rob Lowe get a hug from some correspondent from The Tonight Show on location at Sundance the other night, and of course herespondedd with a "We got some Brokeback Mountain action going on here, or what?" Yeah, hilarious, Rob.

My point is this: It's not that damned funny. What, are we in fourth grade here? God help us if they every make a movie about The Village People. Jay Leno's head might blow up.

So here is my proposition. I think we should have to retire jokes about people or events after they have been used to excess. We can hang these jokes in the rafters of the Tonight Show, with Brokeback Mountain joining other honorees as "Michael Jackson likes kids", "Martha Stewart went to prison" and the inaugaral member "Viagra."

MOVIE REVIEWS

Hustle and Flow (Terrance Howard, Anthony Anderson, Ludacris)- Story about an aspiring rapper bringing himself up from the pimpin' game and trying to get rich. This is like every other story along these lines (8 Mile, Get Rich or Die Tryin, etc...) but it is done with a craft that those other stories lacked. Of course, there is the requisite unbelievability in some parts (especially the fact that our hero has a prostitute in his stable that can apparently sing like Ashanti) but the story is still tight.

Dukes of Hazzard (Seann William Scott, Johnny Knoxville, Jessica Simpson's breasts)- This could be the all-time worst movie adaptation of a television series in history. As a fan of the original TV show, I was appalled at the storyline, the casting and the way that they used the characters. The worst of all (I swear), is how Daisy Duke went from a smart, cunning and inventive vixen in the TV show to a full court press of sluttiness and bimbo-ism in the form of Jessica Simpson.

The Island (Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson)- It's what you'd expect from a Michael Bay directed movie about human cloning. The clones have problems (when do they ever not have problems?) and a bunch of stuff blows up. Scarlett Johansson apparently borrowed Tara Reid's hair and voice for part of this role (the similarities are uncanny) but she was more visually stunning than many of the CGI action scenes. I'm a big fan. The ending was pretty horrible, even by Michael Bay standards, but there were some pretty good action scenes to make up for it. The most peculiar thing about this DVD was its lack of bonus material. There were NO deleted scenes, no bloopers, in fact the only thing it did have was a short "making of" piece... which consisted of Michael Bay blowing stuff up. It figures.

I'm finished,
Nate

Post 100

Live from the Call Me Hoss studios in Appleton, WI, it's the

"Call Me Hoss: One Hundredth Post Extravaganza!"

We'll take a look back at the last hundred posts and of course, take a look ahead to the next hundred. Guest appearance comments are expected from: Jaime! Ash Bash! Corey Bruno! Carrie Miller! Ashley! And anyone else that reads this on a regular basis!

Thank you. Thank you. When you do something one hundred times, whether it's posting on a blog, riding a bike or robbing a liquor store, you tend to get pretty good at it. (Sorry, that was me channeling John Madden for a second.)

I discovered this little rodeo back in June of 2004 and have been trying to get up entertaining posts whenever I could or whenever I had something to say. Some attempts to force myself to have a topic (the city nicknames thing, etc...) were met with limited success. But, I do try my best to be humorous while blogging my experiences for future reflection. There were times when I was blogging every day (when I was unemployed and living with my uncle. This was also the time when I penned the Shawn Kemp E! True Hollywood Story, truly a masterpiece in the annals of "Too Much Free Time.") There were times when I didn't get a chance to jot anything down for weeks on end. The best thing about this whole experience are the comments that I periodically get from folks. As most of you know, awaiting a sarcastic remark from Jaime is akin to awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus.

Hopefully if you all take one thing away from reading this blog on a regular basis, it's that we can still keep in touch as friends, no matter where our lives take us. No, wait. If you can only take one thing away, it'd be "Watch Scrubs," but if you have room for two things...

So what is Nate Dogg going to do for you in his next one hundred posts? The first thing I'm going to do is have a more interesting life. I decided the reason that I rarely write about anything interesting going on in my life is that, I'm kinda lazy. That's a tall order going into this tax season in which I'll be working overtime like the dad in that "Cat's in the Cradle" song, but I'll do my best.

Secondly, as much as I like sports, I'll try to write less about it. Until I get tired of writing about other stuff and revert back to sports.

My final promise to you is that I am going to start reviewing every movie that I watch in between posts. Some reviews will be long and others not so, but I won't give any plot points away or spoil a movie for anyone. And, I will start that now:

Red Eye (Rachel McAdams, Cillian Murphy) - Although the idea for this film is great (thriller comprised mostly of two people sitting on an airplane) the execution is only so-so. If you've ever seen a Wes Craven movie, you will see most of the plot unfold from a few scenes prior. Rachel McAdams, although stunning in this movie, conveyed the terror of someone watching a particularily scary episode of Scooby Doo. I love this Cillian Murphy character, though. The kid reminds me of a young Brad Pitt.

Two For The Money (Al Pacino, Matt McConaughey, Rene Russo) - Great movie. Although the underlying theme is about a sports betting service, this movie provides something for any taste. Rene Russo and Al Pacino deliver some stellar scenes as a troubled married couple struggling with the various issues in each other's lives. I suggest this movie to just about anyone.

Lord of War (Nick Cage, Jared Leto) - Interesting look at the world of international gun running. Most of this movie revolves around the end of the Cold War and what it meant for gun runners as well as regimes and warlords around the world. A giant spotlight is also wielded towards African nations that in the 90's (and to this day) used anyone that was old enough to pick up a gun in seemingly never-ending civil wars.

So, that's it, folks. I suppose I would be remiss if I didn't include a random movie quote in my 100th post.

100TH POST RANDOM MOVIE QUOTES!

Edward Carnby: "Your mother's wrong, kid. Being afraid of the dark is what keeps most of us alive."

Edward Carnby: "Fear is what protects you from the things you don't believe in."

Edward Carnby: "I learned the truth a long time ago. Just because you can't see something, doesn't mean it can't kill you."

Cabbie: "You travel light."
Edward Carnby: "I carry enough baggage for the both of us."

Just some of the gems from "Alone in the Dark" (2005). Remember, this is the same movie that gave us Tara Reid playing a respected paleontologist. A respected paleontologist who has her shirt off within 20 minutes of appearing on screen.

I'm finished,
Nate

You've Got Questions?

OK, here's the deal. I had to delay the 100th post extravaganza that I had planned. I decided that filling out a blog quiz from Jaime was much more important. So as not to ruin the integrity of the blog, I went back and erased a previous post from early 2005 and updated the last post to "Post XCVIII", making this current post the 99th. Hey, you gotta have some pride in accuracy.

I'm sure you've all seen these things before on blogs. Ask a goofy question, get a goofy answer. Well, let's get to the fun unhesitatingly.

1. What would be more likely to make you confess: The Rack or Chinese Water Torture?

I'd have to say The Rack. I am a breast man after all.

2. If you had to choose a superhero to fight would you pick Superman, Spiderman, Batman or Chuck Norris? How would you defeat them?

Chuck Norris. Despite his internet legend, I believe the mere mention of Conan O'Brien's "Walker Texas Ranger Lever" would cause Chuck to sulk away in shame.

3. Who is more attractive: Imhotep (in fully regenerated form), The Scorpion King, or Rick O'Connel?

As I don't recall who Imhotep is, I'll have to go with the Scorpion King. The real question is, how many freakin' brothers does Jerry O'Connell have?

4. What is the name of your car? If it doesn't have a name you are a bad car parent.

The Gutless.

5. Which word is more fun to say, aardvark or spork?

If I say spork, there is a chance that I'm at Taco Bell. What's more fun than Taco Bell? Grande Meal, anyone?

6. What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?

Strawberry shortcake. I hate strawberries, but I was trying to be polite. It was not a good idea.

7. Make a sentence using the following words: eskimo, dungeon, vessel, honey badger, pantaloons.

"In my homemade dungeon, my submissive eskimo hottie broke a blood vessel in her cheek as we enjoyed a wild romp in the honey badger position whilst my pantaloons were around my ankles." Good god, I think I need therapy.

8. Did you have an imaginary friend when you were a kid (or now)? What was its name? Was it because you were too uncool to have real friends?

I'd love to answer those questions, but the First Rule of Fight Club...

9. If you were going to have a cereal named after you what would it be called? And what would it taste like?

Hoss's no. 7 Brand. It would taste like Jack Daniel's, of course.

10. If you could have one super power what would it be?

Invisibility, and if you say anything other than invisibility, you're lying to yourself. So many locker rooms, so little time.

11. Have you ever voluntarily watched "From Justin to Kelly"?

Umm. Parts of it. Poor Kelly Clarkson is going to be the next Streisand (in terms of popularity, not listenability) and she's going to have this steaming pile to look back on at the beginning of her career. It's sad, really. I think Justin is probably hoping for a sequel.

12. Doodle Bear or Aqua Doodle?

Even though it's not legally allowed, I'm just going to vote for Bush again.

13. Do you believe in psychics?

Yeah, I love people that make vague educated guesses and call it psychic ability. NBC should make a cop show about it.

14. How many medium sized baked potatoes could you eat in one sitting?

A handful.

15. Invent a word. Define it and use it in a sentence.

Kelly Clarksons- slang term for breast implants, which Kelly might want to look into getting.
Sentence: "Pamela Anderson got a new set of Kelly Clarksons for Christmas."

16. Who would you rather meet, The Kool-Aid Guy, the Michelin Man or the Snuggle Bear?

Snuggle Bear. He looks all soft and wholesome in the commercials, but I bet that bear is a party animal.

17. Who's creepier, Quagmire or Zap Branigan?

What is this, some Dungeons and Dragons crap? Um, Zap Branigan... I guess.

18. When was the last time you cried? Sissy.

Probably last month when I jacked up my foot and I could barely walk to the bathroom. It got worse when I gave up on the bathroom and marked my territory like a wolf.

19. If you had a sidekick what would his name be?

Sober Driver.

20. Have you ever had a crush on a cartoon character?

Jessica Rabbit, Pocahontas, Belle, Little Bo Peep from Toy Story, Jasmine, Aeon Flux, Mrs. Cartman, Lady from Lady and the Tramp (even though she's technically a dog)... I guess the answer I was looking for is: Yes.

I'm finished,
Nate

Post XCVIII

Quite a weekend for the Murray wedding boys as we partied in Bark River on Friday night, playing some poker and enjoying the company of Grant's buddies from back home. We spent the next evening in Marquette, taking in the local taverns and parties after the hockey game and a Wildcat sweep. Over all, it was a lot of beer drank, zero injuries and zero arrests. Not a bad way to spend a weekend.

Of course, the Patriots did lose on Saturday night. It's a bit maddening how the Patriots have a total of six turnovers in the three previous Super Bowl seasons combined, then they spring for five in one game on Saturday night. It didn't help that the league office was on the phone to the refs all night, trying to make sure that there was no chance the Colts would have to face Tom Brady again this year. "Hey, even if Champ Bailey fumbles the ball directly through the back of the endzone, DO NOT call it a touchback. Just give the Broncos the ball on the one yard line. Oh, and if the corners for the Pats come within a foot of the Denver recievers... throw a flag." I'm just so tired of the NFL season ending in disappointment for me. Oh, wait. Super Bowls XXXVI, XXXVIII, XXXIX. Never mind, I'm good. Oh, and the Colts lost. The Peyton Manning Face is always a welcome sight.

Great quote: RNC spokeswoman Tracey Schmitt said: "On a day when Americans are focused on the legacy of Martin Luther King, Hillary Clinton is focused on the legacy of Hillary Clinton." This is after Clinton made a point on MLK day to accuse the Republican led house of "being run like a plantation." Good for you, Hil-Rod. Just keep talking.

Next post will be a 100th post extravaganza.

I'm finished,
Nate

Snowshoe Golf?

Here's a funny link. It's the 7 day outlook for Marquette, MI area golf courses from the weather.com web site.

7 Day Golf Course Conditions

You know those things that can be done a couple of ways, but there is a method that is preferred by leaps and bounds over the rest? From now on, I will call the inferior methods "Like Cooking Soup In A Microwave." Sound good? Imagine: "You're going to take that road to get over to the park instead of taking the highway? That's cooking soup in the microwave if I've ever seen it!" Start using it. I give you permission.

I'm sure some people really love Howard Stern. I'm not one that's crazy about his schtick and shock-jock antics. Some people really hate him. Say what you want, the guy has turned dirty jokes and exclusive interviews with varied members of the adult entertainment industry into a pretty lucrative business over the years.

Have a good weekend.

I'm finished,
Nate

Where Values Thrive.

So even though I never changed my profile, as most of you know, I left Thrivent Financial for greener pastures back in September. Long story, short: It didn't work out and I'm back in the desk. It all started with Ashley's casual mention that Thrivent would probably welcome me back. I proceeded to run into two of my supervisors at my fill-in gig selling electronics, with both of them expressing support. It then culminated with a conversation with my former boss, C Dub, who got everything in place. Remarkably, this all took place within the span of about 10 days. I will once again fill my days with talk of required minimum distributions, 1099-R forms, and rights of accumulation. It's good to be back.

I just emptied out the recycling bin at my desk which contained all of the paper items of Julie, the former owner. In the bin was a 800 page Vogue magazine. You read that correctly. A magazine that's the size of a stinkin' dictionary.

I was thinking about the Kanye West song "Gold Digger", or as I call it "The Ballad of the Deadbeat Dad" the other day. When women sing along to that song, do they actually think about the words?

Quite a year for Marcus Vick of Virginia Tech: Runner up for ACC Offensive Player of the Year, coming off suspension for allegedly getting 15 year old girls drunk, having his driver's license suspended, getting ticketed for driving on that suspended license, getting kicked off the team for stomping on an opponent and, to start the new year off right, getting arrested for pointing a gun at people. He could be the first NFL Draft prospect whose potential downside rating from Mel Kiper includes "May kill someone his rookie year."

I saw this pure gold statement on IMDB.com news today: "Jessica Simpson's estranged husband Nick Lachey is narrowing down his search for a new woman..." What does that even mean? Is there an application process for this? Did I miss the "Win a Date with Nick Lachey" buses that came to a city near you? He went on to say that he is looking for "a Jessica Alba look-a-like who has bedded fewer than 10 guys." Reached for comment, Jessica Alba said she is looking for, "Not Nick Lachey."

Big weekend coming up, hockey game and bachelor party for G Money in Marquette.

I'm finished,
Nate