A few things were bothering me this week.
-Why didn't the movie version of "Spawn" do as well as it could've?
-How did the girl that played the annoying bitch kid on "Roseanne" grow up to be the hot chick that plays Elliot on "Scrubs"?
-Why are people so averse to restraining cats and yet it's acceptable to tie dogs up for days on end if you want?
-Is it time to stop talking about Martha Stewart going to jail? (I mean the "Imagine the decorating she could do to her jail cell!" comments were funny for about two days. NOT ANYMORE!)
So I caught some of the "Surreal Life 3" premiere last weekend, now airing on VH1. (Just a quick note to VH1: When the WB drops a show...that's not good.) You know the drill with this show, where B-list former celebrities live under same room and "Real World"-esque drama ensues. While I'm watching this my mind drifts to the way we throw around the word "celebrity" these days. Who in the hell is Ryan Starr? I incorrectly guessed that he was in 98 Degrees. I found out that SHE was like a semi-finalist on the first "American Idol." Really? That can be considered a celebrity? Fair enough.
The penance these celebs must perform is share a living space with walking talking toolbox, Flava Flav. I didn't see much of the show, mostly just the celebs showing up and a few other things. The show was topped of by a mini confrontation between Jordan Knight and Dave Coulier (the guy who played the other uncle on "Full House.") Read the last sentence again, just to get a mental picture. Jordan Knight said something about the Olsen twins growing up and getting hot and Uncle Joey just lost it. "I watched them grow up! If you make comments about them being hot, hey, I'm gonna get pretty pissed off." That's hilarious!
Hey! Hey! Settle down now. Please don't lose that temper of yours, Other Uncle from Full House! Nobody wants a piece of the guy who hosted "World's Funniest People!"
By the way, has any psuedo-celebrity show appearance ever been parlayed into long term success? Ever? I'm pretty sure there isn't a section in "Returning to Limelite for Dummies" that suggests being on one of these shows. I don't think Corey Feldman has been turning down any new work. Just sayin.
The whole experience got me thinking, who will be celebrities from today that will be the future Surreal World cast in like 5 years. I put together a list of those who have already fallen off the radar or inevitably will in the nest year or so:
5) Macaulay Culkin
4) Amy Smart
3) Bryce Dallas Howard
2) One of the "other members of Destiny's Child"
and...
1) Neve Campbell (who apparently has won her long battle against celebrity.)
Oh, and I am geeked to go to Marquette tomorrow!
I'm finished,
Nate
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Monday, September 20, 2004
Movin' on up like George and Weezey.
You know the people in your hometown that have lived in the same house for like 80 years and are roughly 120 years old? Do you know why they live such long full lives? They never have to MOVE! I spent the majority of Friday and Saturday basically being a van driver/pack mule to get Ashley and I moved into our spankin’ new (built in 1989, making it the newest apartment I’ve ever lived in by approximately 30 years of its closest competition) two bedroom apartment in Appleton. The place is awesome! There’s enough room for a dining room table! We have a storage closet…and it isn’t cram packed with stuff!
I had half my things moved in by noon on Saturday after loading it all up in the U.P., which I drove up to on Friday night. Needless to say, I was on my horse. It’s amazing how good you can get at moving when you do it 2-4 times a year in college. Rubbermaid totes become your best friend, things that slide easily or have rollers ascend a higher place in your heart, and you can say things like, “Hot damn! I knew if I kept that slotted spoon/spatula set long enough I would need it again!”
I also realized that in college I accumulated 30 or so extension cords and outlet splitters, about 1000 pens, and so many burned CD’s I could build entire stable structures with them. I was of course very tired after all of this (I was also suffering from an especially violent version of the Nate Virus until Saturday night/Sunday morning) but finally got a chance to celebrate a little on Saturday night. A beer always tastes good, but it tastes outstanding in your own place. Also, Ashley christened the toilet on Saturday night after she took a voyage too many with Captain Morgan.
Nostalgic. Some things never change.
I'm finished,
Nate
I had half my things moved in by noon on Saturday after loading it all up in the U.P., which I drove up to on Friday night. Needless to say, I was on my horse. It’s amazing how good you can get at moving when you do it 2-4 times a year in college. Rubbermaid totes become your best friend, things that slide easily or have rollers ascend a higher place in your heart, and you can say things like, “Hot damn! I knew if I kept that slotted spoon/spatula set long enough I would need it again!”
I also realized that in college I accumulated 30 or so extension cords and outlet splitters, about 1000 pens, and so many burned CD’s I could build entire stable structures with them. I was of course very tired after all of this (I was also suffering from an especially violent version of the Nate Virus until Saturday night/Sunday morning) but finally got a chance to celebrate a little on Saturday night. A beer always tastes good, but it tastes outstanding in your own place. Also, Ashley christened the toilet on Saturday night after she took a voyage too many with Captain Morgan.
Nostalgic. Some things never change.
I'm finished,
Nate
Friday, September 10, 2004
Rant alert!!!
Nate and Copp's Foods, Inc. are officially not speaking to each other. Let me lay out the following scenario for you and you can tell me what you think (written in the third person, because that's how Nathan Holtslander rolls):
It's a lukewarm Friday in September when Nathan Holtslander pulls his Gutlass into Copp's Food Center #8111 to purchase some beer. He decides on a 24 pack of Busch Light, a refreshing light beer, not outrageously priced at $12.95. He then sees something out of the corner of his eye. Could it be? It is! A "Dirty Thirty!" A 30 pack of Busch Light, or as one of his former roommates and he called them: "The Hunter's Special." Nothing is quite as good as paying a dollar or two more for six extra beers. Nothing.
He saunters to the counter, the anticipation welling up inside of him. So many good memories had come and gone in his life that included a/some 30 pack(s.) He waves off the cashier when she asks for his Copp's card. He swipes his Visa Check Card (aka the coolest most functional thing in banking) without even taking his mind off the whimsical social gatherings of his youth. He signs for the beer and walks out the door, thinking that he has to remember to put the reciept in his checkbook. Glancing at said reciept he notices something ghastly.
What. The. F*&^!
This 30 Pack cost me $18.98! That's gotta be a typo, he thinks. He walks back into the store with purpose and finds a 30 pack display. There it is in black and white: $14.99! Wait... With your Copp's Card? Regular price on a 30 pack is $17.99?
Think about it: Five extra dollars for six more beers. Does that bother anyone else?
Right up there next to my belief that anyone that says: "I've got some quarters for you." should have to use seperate gas stations to keep them away from us good customers is my belief that a 30 pack should not average out to be more expensive (per can) than a 24 pack. That's just common sense! It ended up being $.06 more per beer to buy the 30 pack! What the heck, yo?
For the rationale we'll go to the pothead running the service desk: "Well, we raise the price and then put it on sale to encourage people to sign up for the Copp's Card." OK, just in case I didn't make myself abundantly clear:
What a terrible way to run a flippin' business. It's like trying to trick people into getting that stupid card so they can sell your personal info to the highest bidder. Not me, sunshine!
Copp's and I have since settled out of court for a three dollar cash refund. I am currently enjoying a cold Busch Light. At 49.967 cents per can.
I'm finished.
Nate
It's a lukewarm Friday in September when Nathan Holtslander pulls his Gutlass into Copp's Food Center #8111 to purchase some beer. He decides on a 24 pack of Busch Light, a refreshing light beer, not outrageously priced at $12.95. He then sees something out of the corner of his eye. Could it be? It is! A "Dirty Thirty!" A 30 pack of Busch Light, or as one of his former roommates and he called them: "The Hunter's Special." Nothing is quite as good as paying a dollar or two more for six extra beers. Nothing.
He saunters to the counter, the anticipation welling up inside of him. So many good memories had come and gone in his life that included a/some 30 pack(s.) He waves off the cashier when she asks for his Copp's card. He swipes his Visa Check Card (aka the coolest most functional thing in banking) without even taking his mind off the whimsical social gatherings of his youth. He signs for the beer and walks out the door, thinking that he has to remember to put the reciept in his checkbook. Glancing at said reciept he notices something ghastly.
What. The. F*&^!
This 30 Pack cost me $18.98! That's gotta be a typo, he thinks. He walks back into the store with purpose and finds a 30 pack display. There it is in black and white: $14.99! Wait... With your Copp's Card? Regular price on a 30 pack is $17.99?
Think about it: Five extra dollars for six more beers. Does that bother anyone else?
Right up there next to my belief that anyone that says: "I've got some quarters for you." should have to use seperate gas stations to keep them away from us good customers is my belief that a 30 pack should not average out to be more expensive (per can) than a 24 pack. That's just common sense! It ended up being $.06 more per beer to buy the 30 pack! What the heck, yo?
For the rationale we'll go to the pothead running the service desk: "Well, we raise the price and then put it on sale to encourage people to sign up for the Copp's Card." OK, just in case I didn't make myself abundantly clear:
I do not want a Copp's Card!
What a terrible way to run a flippin' business. It's like trying to trick people into getting that stupid card so they can sell your personal info to the highest bidder. Not me, sunshine!
Copp's and I have since settled out of court for a three dollar cash refund. I am currently enjoying a cold Busch Light. At 49.967 cents per can.
I'm finished.
Nate
Monday, September 06, 2004
Some random thoughts.
First off, read my rant about the Packers and Mike Sherman and then read this:
Punters stay, Couch cut- (Green Bay Press Gazette)
I am simply gerrymandered by this move.
Secondly, if you get a chance purchase or borrow the game "Scene It?" by all means, do. It is phenomenal. Trivia with actual movie clips on a DVD? What could possibly be better? Give me that and "Trivial Pursuit: The 90's" and I would have a hard time leaving the house. Mix in Tiger Woods golf on PS2 and you better get me an IV and a cathedar.
Third, referencing Road Star Inn in a thesaurus will not return either "exceptional" or "quality." I found this little fact out on Thursday night when I was staying in Madison preparing for my Series 63 exam. When the motel you are staying at is housing entire families that have been evicted from their apartments, you know that a) you need to take all the valuables out of your car and b) you shouldn't be surprised that there are plastic cups under your bed that the crack housekeeping staff "missed."
Fourth, people from the city love the U.P. I treated Ashley to a weekend in God's country and the whole time, she was effervescing praise for the pleasant penninsula. She even described Marquette as "beautiful." Don't get me wrong, I love the MQT, but beautiful? If you say so.
Fifth, Madison = No fun to drive in.
Sixth, I am officially filing for divorce against my cell phone. I am citing irreconcilable differences including, but not limited to, its lack of motivation to charge or get a signal while indoors. Also, when I try to answer a call sometimes, my phone will shut off, as in power down, as in immediately lose all functionality as a working telephone. Holtslander v. V60i will most likely commence in February when I am finally able to hook up with a fresher, younger phone.
I'm finished,
Nate
Punters stay, Couch cut- (Green Bay Press Gazette)
I am simply gerrymandered by this move.
Secondly, if you get a chance purchase or borrow the game "Scene It?" by all means, do. It is phenomenal. Trivia with actual movie clips on a DVD? What could possibly be better? Give me that and "Trivial Pursuit: The 90's" and I would have a hard time leaving the house. Mix in Tiger Woods golf on PS2 and you better get me an IV and a cathedar.
Third, referencing Road Star Inn in a thesaurus will not return either "exceptional" or "quality." I found this little fact out on Thursday night when I was staying in Madison preparing for my Series 63 exam. When the motel you are staying at is housing entire families that have been evicted from their apartments, you know that a) you need to take all the valuables out of your car and b) you shouldn't be surprised that there are plastic cups under your bed that the crack housekeeping staff "missed."
Fourth, people from the city love the U.P. I treated Ashley to a weekend in God's country and the whole time, she was effervescing praise for the pleasant penninsula. She even described Marquette as "beautiful." Don't get me wrong, I love the MQT, but beautiful? If you say so.
Fifth, Madison = No fun to drive in.
Sixth, I am officially filing for divorce against my cell phone. I am citing irreconcilable differences including, but not limited to, its lack of motivation to charge or get a signal while indoors. Also, when I try to answer a call sometimes, my phone will shut off, as in power down, as in immediately lose all functionality as a working telephone. Holtslander v. V60i will most likely commence in February when I am finally able to hook up with a fresher, younger phone.
I'm finished,
Nate
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