I'm all in?

Hope everyone had a good Easter (or to Jaime, I hope you had fun with whatever pagan Costa Rican holiday they were celebrating.) The Easter Bunny made a quick stop in Appleton leaving candy and Tiger Woods 2004 for PS2. That game is like a domesticated wolf, you know it's supposed to be harmless, but you're almost afraid to have it in the house. It is the most addictive game I have ever played, period. I don't even particularily like golf, yet I'm sitting there after two straight hours of playing, deciding between a pitch and a flop from 35 feet away from the pin.

Taxes rule! Even though it accounts for 75% of the phone calls I get at work and the next three weeks are going to be pure hell, taxes kick butt. They run the government, they keep wasteful social programs "that I love" alive, and most importantly, for some of us, they give us money back. I got my tax return on Friday! Yay! For once, I may even stick to a plan on how I will spend it. I shouldn't actually be happy about getting a return. As every good Republican should know, tax refunds are the return of an interest free loan that you just gave to the government. But when you check the balance of your bank account online and that return is staring you in the face, it's like butterflies being released in the stomach, isn't it? I made out like a bandit even though I had part time residence in both the UP and Wisky this year (I think I owe Michigan like $9.)

The Seattle trip is coming together nicely. We have our plane tickets and BJ and Kate will be picking up the tickets to see the Mariners and THE 2004 WORLD CHAMPION BOSTON RED SOX!!!!! HURRAH! GO SOX! Oh, and we're going to see some other stuff like a museum and some Space Needle thing, and THE 2004 WORLD SERIES CHAMPION RED SOX! This is the first vacation of my adult life and it is going to kick the butt and take the names, fool. But it is still well over a month away. Sad.

Finally, am I sick of hearing about poker. Wow, am I ever. Ever since ESPN started airing the World Series of Poker regularly, you can't get away from it. The worst part is the stories. This or a variation of this is every poker story I've ever heard:
Some Guy: "So, I was playing poker last night, Nate."
Me: (sigh) "Oh, really?"
Some Guy: "Do you play cards?"
Me: "No, it's not really my thing."
Some Guy: "So anyways, I almost won. I had this flush going after "the flop", then after "the river" it was just me and this other guy. I was thinking he probably had a flush too but I had a Queen high so I went all in. The Ace was already out there, so the only thing he could have that would've beat me was a King. Guess what he had?"
Me: "Umm, a King? Probably?"
Some Guy: "Sure did! I was so pissed!"
Me: "Umm. Tough luck I guess." I don't blame the people for being excited, it's just that I don't have anything to add to the conversation and I feel like an idiot. Enough with the poker!

I'm finished,
Nate

Shark attacks and the people confused by them.

Happy holy week to all. For most people it means you're geeked about having Good Friday off. Because I already have Friday off normally, this week is a little shorter, as I was compensated by getting to come in two hours later every day this week. Not bad as I have been fighting an upstart Nate Virus since last week. It has yet to turn the corner into a full fledged debilitator and hopefully it will not. I even called in sick on Tuesday as a preemptive strike.

So, I've seen a commercial for this "Spring Break: Shark Attack!" movie that CBS is putting out. It's kind of like Jaws with more of the O.C. and less believability. I thought that we were getting away from such things as cheesy shark attack movies and that we held our entertainment today to a higher standard of factual accuracy. I guess a walk down any Blockbuster movie will yield its share of cheesy straight-to-video movies ("Skulls III" anyone?), but I thought for mainstream media, shark attack movies were a little too laughable. I hoping that next summer Fox does a made-for-TV tie in with Austin Powers called "Attack of the Sharks With Friggin' Laser Beams on Their Heads." Maybe we could go "Jaws 6: Son of Jaws."

Oh, and I've gotta share a movie quote from a campy, funny movie I saw this weekend.

RANDOM MOVIE QUOTE!!
Senator Abercrombie's Wife: "I just don't know why every time a rich white man is against immigrants he's labled a racist."
- "A Day Without A Mexican" (2004)

I'm finished,
Nate

In the criminal justice system...

So the T Puppy and I were talking last night about colleges and scholarships. Do you remember as a senior in high school how many scholarships colleges were handing out? Do you also remember how many of those scholarships apply to the first year only? Just like crack dealers. "Here you go, man. The first semester is almost free, but we offer no more scholarships for the next three years! HaHaHaHa!" I haven't seen a more ruthless dealer since Mr. Big on the arcade game N.A.R.C. Yes, I am fully aware that there are scholarships out there, I'm just saying there is a bigger pie available for the freshman than the sophomore.

Isn't it about time to thank Law and Order for what they've done for TV. Seriously, shouldn't we send them a card? Something? Check the roster: L&O, L&O: Special Victims Unit, L&O: Criminal Intent, L&O: Crime and Punishment, and the brand spanking new L&O: Trial By Jury. Wait, in my mind L&O: Crime and Punishment (L&O meets reality TV with excruciating results) never existed. I refuse to believe it existed. It think Law & Order should never go off the air. The one constant on that show is that the cast changes. Why can't it just carry on with a revolving cast forever? You could say that the shows with the late, great Jerry Orbach were the best (and I do), but are they really that much better than the seasons with Paul Sorvino? This is a franchise that picked Ice T for a role as a cop. Think about it, that's Ice T, who once wrote a songs called "Cop Killer" and "Smoked Pork." But, they made it work. They fired their assistant DA this year and as she's getting fired she drops that she is a lesbian completely out of the blue... with no further explanation. Loved it (mostly because she was a whiny bleeding heart on the show.) Heck, I suggest we even have International Law & Order Day. Why not? We've already got an International Women's Day...

I'm going to go straight to hell for this next part. Tuomas Tarkki was the best goalie in the CCHA this year, absolutely. If Jordan Sigalet (who has M.S.) or Alvareo Montoyeo (who is the GREATEST NHL prospect in HISTORY!) makes the All-CCHA team ahead of Tuomas, we need to rename the whole thing the "First and Second Unfairly Skewed Teams." Let us not forget how K-Wal got jobbed last year for second team and first team. Alvaro gets first team because he played on a great team with the most NHL prospects in the CCHA. Sigalet had worse numbers than Craig (slightly) but it was on a team that sucked, therefore justifying the selection...I guess. The selection seems like a no-brainer, but mark my words, there's still a possibility that Tuomas gets the shaft. If Jordan Sigalet gets the sympathy vote because he has M.S., the world of a Wildcat hockey fan is truly unfair. The only thing the "no peanut butter eating Finn" has going against him is that he didn't start as many games because we have a good freshman waiting in the wings who needs to get experience now to carry over to next year. Well, it's a big weekend for the Kitties and hopefully we can sweep out the Broncos on Friday and Saturday and make another appearance at the Joe and hopefully lock up a Frozen Four tourney invite.

(This is the part of the program where Grant usually starts yelling, "They've got no chance! They have to win the tournament to get in, that's the only way!" For a guy who loves his Wildcats, he hates talking about NMU's chances to make the NCAA's. I think it actually causes him physical pain. I still believe, though.)

I'm finished,
Nate

The return.

Wow, if keeping a blog updated was a job in the military, this guy would be guilty of dereliction of duty. Seriously, Jack Nicholson would be ordering a Code Red for me right about now ("You can't HANDLE the truth!") I apologize, I know how may of you rely on my random witticisms and the like. OK, that's like none of you, but still.

Really, not a lot has gone on since I last posted. Other than the fact that the guy who played Bunz in "Booty Call" won an Oscar for best actor. It's fun to look back at every big name actor and realize that there was a time when they would do movies like "Booty Call." Speaking of Booty Call, an extensive look at movies with a predominantly African American cast shows that Vivica A. Fox and/or Nia Long is in approximately 79% of them. Just thought you should know.

I watched the last 20 minutes of "Devil's Advocate" last night for like the 50th time. There are some movies that I just can't leave alone. So for my entertainment, I am going to list the top 5 movies that I absolutely cannot skip over if I am channel surfing (Note: I do not include abominations like Goodfellas on network TV, as the edited for TV dialogue makes me want to... well, let's just say that I'd rather go buy a home colonscopy kit.)

1) Shawshank Redemption - This movie was on last week, I caught it at the beginning (right after Andy goes to prison), I had a ton of stuff to do, so what did I do? Yep. Watched the whole thing. Love that movie.

2) Out of Sight - Quite possibly the most underrated movie of all time. Ahhh, J.Lo when she could still act. J.Lo before she was doing duets with Ja Rule. Come to think of it, J.Lo before she was J.Lo, those were the days. 3) Devil's Advocate - Every time someone is making fun of the loud way Al Pacino talks: That is him at the end of this movie. My favorite Keanu movie not called "Matrix." It's got a message and the potentially horrifying scene at the end where Pacino wants Neo to have sex with his sister. Yikes. But, if you had seen his sister...

4) Bad Boys - You knew that was coming.

Sorry it's only four, but it is quittin time.

I'm finished,
Nate