As some of you know, I like to drive around town. I will sometimes even take drives out into the country for no apparent reason other than that gas prices are so cheap now. I like to drive to the store. I like to drive to Green Bay every once in a while. (That trip is like a time warp. Seriously, it's a 30 mile trip that seems like it only takes 10 minutes.) I even like driving during rush hour when people lose the concepts of safety and rules of the road.
So, being the driving enthusiast that I am, my question is this: Why is there still construction projects starting this time of year? Why did I pass through four construction zones today alone? It's almost November, people! Aren't you supposed to be sending these workers off to start getting unemployment checks by now? OK, that was a lot of questions...wait...I thought of one more! Why is it necessary to start projects all over the city? Is one project at a time too ludicrous of a request?
I know it's all supposed to be part of the betterment of the city, but sometimes when these projects are done they are worse than when they began. Next time you're in Appleton drive down College Ave. When you get to a stretch where you say to yourself, "This road sucks." that's the part that they spent all summer tearing up! My theory is that they tore the road up and when the guy that was supposed to bring the new asphalt bailed on them, they just said, "Screw it, get the stuff we just tore up and slop it back down there."
On Ballard Rd, they are tearing up an overpass. Something about driving under an overpass that they are tearing big chunks out of is a little unnerving to me. As it should be to everyone else.
Nothing compared to the infuriating Northland Ave - Lynndale Ave construction of the spring. The skinny of that debacle was that there was a busy intersection of two roads that were both four lanes. So they closed off a couple of lanes at a time and worked on the thing approximately three days a week. Every morning going to work from over there was an adventure all its own.
There are plenty more examples, which I will of course spare you all of because of the beating and the dead horse thing. Of course, I am not just a whiner. I have developed a plan for a solution to this problem that I think is economically and socially feasible. It's so simple that I can't imagine why no one hasn't already thought of it. Of course I am talking about: The Flying Car.
"Roads? Marty, where we're going, we won't need roads."
I'm finished,
Nate
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
CSI, the New Curse and a Personal Note to Jimmy.
OK, so it has been far too long since my last update. I am a horrible person and no longer worthy of your attention and/or time. Now that I got that stuff out of the way…
I think it’s high time that we deserve an answer as to why in the hell there can’t be a better way to plant a microphone on somebody than by taping the thing to a persons chest. It’s 2005, we can make cell phones that have iPods and car headlights that steer with the car, but your telling me that law enforcement can’t put a microphone on a Swiss watch or a ballpoint pen or something? How many more undercover operatives have to be involved in a hostage situation on TV police dramas before somebody does something about this? Seriously.
I would like everyone to take a moment to think about this as long as we are talking about police dramas: In twenty years, when an episode of CSI comes on Nick at Nite, how hard is it going to be to explain to our kids that this show was the most watched program in America for three years straight? I can see it now: “But dad, this show is so corny… You’re pulling my leg.” Then after I pull my 2030 World Almanac and show them in black and white, me and my entire generation will lose the respect of the young. On second thought, that kid should be in bed anyways, it’s a school night.
As you all know (who am I kidding?) As half of you may or may not have heard, the Red Sox were very unceremoniously eliminated from the playoffs last week. If this starts another decades long losing streak, I vote right now that we call it the curse of the Fever Pitch. If I had the power to curse people and I saw Fever Pitch, I’d curse the bastards for sure. If I had paid theater money to see it, I probably would have started a plague. It was that bad.
Note to Jimmy Fallon: GO BACK TO SNL! Quickly. You can't pick a good movie role to save your freaking life. Either go back to SNL (which needs you like crops need rain) or call Will Farrell and find out how he picks his movies and go with that formula. Better yet write a movie about Sully and Zazu and bring back the famous "Nomaaaaaaaah!" exclamations. Seriously, it's like you read the "Chris Kataan's Guide to Having a Bad Post-SNL Career." SNL will take you back. They took Ashley F. Simpson back for pete's sake! I want to like you, man. Help me to help you!
More to come folks, but that’s all for now.
RANDOM MOVIE QUOTE!
Ghostly Image: “It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we've just sent to converge with your craft. To ensure ongoing quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.”
-"The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" (2005)
I'm finished,
Nate
I think it’s high time that we deserve an answer as to why in the hell there can’t be a better way to plant a microphone on somebody than by taping the thing to a persons chest. It’s 2005, we can make cell phones that have iPods and car headlights that steer with the car, but your telling me that law enforcement can’t put a microphone on a Swiss watch or a ballpoint pen or something? How many more undercover operatives have to be involved in a hostage situation on TV police dramas before somebody does something about this? Seriously.
I would like everyone to take a moment to think about this as long as we are talking about police dramas: In twenty years, when an episode of CSI comes on Nick at Nite, how hard is it going to be to explain to our kids that this show was the most watched program in America for three years straight? I can see it now: “But dad, this show is so corny… You’re pulling my leg.” Then after I pull my 2030 World Almanac and show them in black and white, me and my entire generation will lose the respect of the young. On second thought, that kid should be in bed anyways, it’s a school night.
As you all know (who am I kidding?) As half of you may or may not have heard, the Red Sox were very unceremoniously eliminated from the playoffs last week. If this starts another decades long losing streak, I vote right now that we call it the curse of the Fever Pitch. If I had the power to curse people and I saw Fever Pitch, I’d curse the bastards for sure. If I had paid theater money to see it, I probably would have started a plague. It was that bad.
Note to Jimmy Fallon: GO BACK TO SNL! Quickly. You can't pick a good movie role to save your freaking life. Either go back to SNL (which needs you like crops need rain) or call Will Farrell and find out how he picks his movies and go with that formula. Better yet write a movie about Sully and Zazu and bring back the famous "Nomaaaaaaaah!" exclamations. Seriously, it's like you read the "Chris Kataan's Guide to Having a Bad Post-SNL Career." SNL will take you back. They took Ashley F. Simpson back for pete's sake! I want to like you, man. Help me to help you!
More to come folks, but that’s all for now.
RANDOM MOVIE QUOTE!
Ghostly Image: “It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we've just sent to converge with your craft. To ensure ongoing quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.”
-"The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" (2005)
I'm finished,
Nate
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
