Surreally?

A few things were bothering me this week.

-Why didn't the movie version of "Spawn" do as well as it could've?
-How did the girl that played the annoying bitch kid on "Roseanne" grow up to be the hot chick that plays Elliot on "Scrubs"?
-Why are people so averse to restraining cats and yet it's acceptable to tie dogs up for days on end if you want?
-Is it time to stop talking about Martha Stewart going to jail? (I mean the "Imagine the decorating she could do to her jail cell!" comments were funny for about two days. NOT ANYMORE!)

So I caught some of the "Surreal Life 3" premiere last weekend, now airing on VH1. (Just a quick note to VH1: When the WB drops a show...that's not good.) You know the drill with this show, where B-list former celebrities live under same room and "Real World"-esque drama ensues. While I'm watching this my mind drifts to the way we throw around the word "celebrity" these days. Who in the hell is Ryan Starr? I incorrectly guessed that he was in 98 Degrees. I found out that SHE was like a semi-finalist on the first "American Idol." Really? That can be considered a celebrity? Fair enough.

The penance these celebs must perform is share a living space with walking talking toolbox, Flava Flav. I didn't see much of the show, mostly just the celebs showing up and a few other things. The show was topped of by a mini confrontation between Jordan Knight and Dave Coulier (the guy who played the other uncle on "Full House.") Read the last sentence again, just to get a mental picture. Jordan Knight said something about the Olsen twins growing up and getting hot and Uncle Joey just lost it. "I watched them grow up! If you make comments about them being hot, hey, I'm gonna get pretty pissed off." That's hilarious!

Hey! Hey! Settle down now. Please don't lose that temper of yours, Other Uncle from Full House! Nobody wants a piece of the guy who hosted "World's Funniest People!"

By the way, has any psuedo-celebrity show appearance ever been parlayed into long term success? Ever? I'm pretty sure there isn't a section in "Returning to Limelite for Dummies" that suggests being on one of these shows. I don't think Corey Feldman has been turning down any new work. Just sayin.

The whole experience got me thinking, who will be celebrities from today that will be the future Surreal World cast in like 5 years. I put together a list of those who have already fallen off the radar or inevitably will in the nest year or so:

5) Macaulay Culkin
4) Amy Smart
3) Bryce Dallas Howard
2) One of the "other members of Destiny's Child"

and...

1) Neve Campbell (who apparently has won her long battle against celebrity.)

Oh, and I am geeked to go to Marquette tomorrow!

I'm finished,
Nate