OK, here's the deal. I had to delay the 100th post extravaganza that I had planned. I decided that filling out a blog quiz from Jaime was much more important. So as not to ruin the integrity of the blog, I went back and erased a previous post from early 2005 and updated the last post to "Post XCVIII", making this current post the 99th. Hey, you gotta have some pride in accuracy.
I'm sure you've all seen these things before on blogs. Ask a goofy question, get a goofy answer. Well, let's get to the fun unhesitatingly.
1. What would be more likely to make you confess: The Rack or Chinese Water Torture?
I'd have to say The Rack. I am a breast man after all.
2. If you had to choose a superhero to fight would you pick Superman, Spiderman, Batman or Chuck Norris? How would you defeat them?
Chuck Norris. Despite his internet legend, I believe the mere mention of Conan O'Brien's "Walker Texas Ranger Lever" would cause Chuck to sulk away in shame.
3. Who is more attractive: Imhotep (in fully regenerated form), The Scorpion King, or Rick O'Connel?
As I don't recall who Imhotep is, I'll have to go with the Scorpion King. The real question is, how many freakin' brothers does Jerry O'Connell have?
4. What is the name of your car? If it doesn't have a name you are a bad car parent.
The Gutless.
5. Which word is more fun to say, aardvark or spork?
If I say spork, there is a chance that I'm at Taco Bell. What's more fun than Taco Bell? Grande Meal, anyone?
6. What's the grossest thing you've ever eaten?
Strawberry shortcake. I hate strawberries, but I was trying to be polite. It was not a good idea.
7. Make a sentence using the following words: eskimo, dungeon, vessel, honey badger, pantaloons.
"In my homemade dungeon, my submissive eskimo hottie broke a blood vessel in her cheek as we enjoyed a wild romp in the honey badger position whilst my pantaloons were around my ankles." Good god, I think I need therapy.
8. Did you have an imaginary friend when you were a kid (or now)? What was its name? Was it because you were too uncool to have real friends?
I'd love to answer those questions, but the First Rule of Fight Club...
9. If you were going to have a cereal named after you what would it be called? And what would it taste like?
Hoss's no. 7 Brand. It would taste like Jack Daniel's, of course.
10. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Invisibility, and if you say anything other than invisibility, you're lying to yourself. So many locker rooms, so little time.
11. Have you ever voluntarily watched "From Justin to Kelly"?
Umm. Parts of it. Poor Kelly Clarkson is going to be the next Streisand (in terms of popularity, not listenability) and she's going to have this steaming pile to look back on at the beginning of her career. It's sad, really. I think Justin is probably hoping for a sequel.
12. Doodle Bear or Aqua Doodle?
Even though it's not legally allowed, I'm just going to vote for Bush again.
13. Do you believe in psychics?
Yeah, I love people that make vague educated guesses and call it psychic ability. NBC should make a cop show about it.
14. How many medium sized baked potatoes could you eat in one sitting?
A handful.
15. Invent a word. Define it and use it in a sentence.
Kelly Clarksons- slang term for breast implants, which Kelly might want to look into getting.
Sentence: "Pamela Anderson got a new set of Kelly Clarksons for Christmas."
16. Who would you rather meet, The Kool-Aid Guy, the Michelin Man or the Snuggle Bear?
Snuggle Bear. He looks all soft and wholesome in the commercials, but I bet that bear is a party animal.
17. Who's creepier, Quagmire or Zap Branigan?
What is this, some Dungeons and Dragons crap? Um, Zap Branigan... I guess.
18. When was the last time you cried? Sissy.
Probably last month when I jacked up my foot and I could barely walk to the bathroom. It got worse when I gave up on the bathroom and marked my territory like a wolf.
19. If you had a sidekick what would his name be?
Sober Driver.
20. Have you ever had a crush on a cartoon character?
Jessica Rabbit, Pocahontas, Belle, Little Bo Peep from Toy Story, Jasmine, Aeon Flux, Mrs. Cartman, Lady from Lady and the Tramp (even though she's technically a dog)... I guess the answer I was looking for is: Yes.
I'm finished,
Nate
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3 comments:
Quagmire is from Family Guy, Zap Branigan is from Futurama. Do you not watch Adult Swim????
OH! THAT Quagmire and THAT Zap whatever the fuck. I change my answer. Quagmire is the creepiest creep.
Your sentence was hilarious! But I must say, she picked WAY too many words. Run on sentence, what?
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
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