Ricky Ticky Williams.

Let me start out with a quote from Ricky Williams, the now former running back of the Miami Dolphins, on the impending economic effects of his retirement:

"People are worried about the future of my children, but a child doesn't need much to be happy -- needs food, a change of clothes and for you to pay attention to him. A bottle of baby food costs 79 cents. I have that much."

A couple of thoughts on that. For one, does that sound like someone you'd like to have raising a kid? I'm sure he doesn't actually takes care of the kids, he has three but is officially "single", however I would like to hear some other parenting strategies from Ricky Williams. Like, "Kids are easy to take care of, just put em in the back yard and strap a leash on em." Or, "You can leave kids in the car while you hit the grocery store. They wear diapers, for god sakes."

Ah, what the hell, this whole post is gonna be about Ricky Williams. If you don't like football, stick around anyways, this cat was pretty, um...free spirited.

For those that don't remember when Ricky Williams came into the league, he was annointed as the future of that franchise and the pro running back position. He came out of college with the highest career rushing total in NCAA history and had just won the Heisman in the most ridiculously lopsided race I can remember. The Saints traded a boatload of draft picks to get him.

He could have been in line to be one of the highest paid rookies in NFL history. So who does he enlist to negotiate his contract with the Saints? A guy named Percy Miller, otherwise known as Master P. Yes, that Master P. Can you see them meeting in the GM's office? "Yo. Yo, Saints owner. What's crackin with these incentive clauses? My man is here in the dirty, dirty south needing to gets that cheddar! You gotta "Make Us Say...Unngghhh, son!!!" But, at Ricky's request, they negotiated one of the strangest contracts in NFL history, with a couple million up front and then a bunch of incentives that would kick in if he reached certain stats during the season. I read an article back then where he was quoted saying something to the effect of, "That couple of million up front should keep me set for life." Yeah, after all it only takes about 79 cents to raise a kid.

So then he starts his rookie year and everybody wants to talk to him during training camp. So you'd see him do interviews...with his helmet on. He never took the thing off. Remember that incentive heavy "they only pay me for what I'm worth" contract? It's great unless you get hurt, and Ricky Williams did nothing better in his first year than get injured. Plus, the contract's incentives were not easy to attain. I think "Rush for 2000 yard score 20 TD's and then paint the entire Louisiana Superdome" was one of them. It really wasn't his fault. Senator Ditka, who was coaching him at the time, was basically calling him a fairy while he was playing with serious injuries on a horrendous team. I'm not even a Saints fan and I was pissed that he kept getting hurt, because it was so completely unnecessary!

Before he left the Saints two years ago, Ricky once suggested that the team move to Texas so he could be closer to home. What? You don't just go into your job and say "Hey, I like you guys, but could you move the office so it's down the block from my house? Super." Soon, the Saints had a comparable running back on the roster in Duece McAllister, who they weren't paying quite as much, and Ricky was traded to Miami. Not the best place for him to play football, because...

Ricky Williams likes to smoke weed. In an article I read today, Ricky said he would like to spend more time in Jamaica with his close friends... Bob Marley's kids. I'm not making it up. He just recently failed his second league drug test and was facing a big fine. This was a minor reason for his retirement he said. I think it falls under "the constraints put on my life by professional football." He also admitted to drinking a masking agent to cover up his drug use on previous tests. I think it's amiable that you can have a conviction so strong that you can stare a $3.5 million a year salary in the face and say, "Screw it. I'd rather smoke weed."

So, does he want to go on to a career in psychology, or acting, or anything that'll put that 79 cents in his pocket? He got a one way ticket to Asia (yeah, just somewheer in Asia, the largest continent on the planet) and says he just wants to have fun. Dolphins fans are pissed (as a Patriot fan, I could give a crap), but hopefully he finds happiness getting blunted out with Ziggy Marley and Co., while touring Asia, or whatever. He says he's finally free, doesn't give a crap about money and is set for a life of adventure.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

Random Movie Quote:*

Vince: So if your quitting the life, what'll you do?

Jules: That's what I've been sitting here contemplating. First, I'm gonna deliver this case to Marsellus. Then, basically, I'm gonna walk the earth. You know, like Caine in Kung Fu. Just walk from town to town, meet people, get in adventures.

Vince: You decided to be a bum? you're gonna be like those pieces of shit out there who beg for change. They walk around like a bunch of fuckin' zombies, they sleep in garbage bins, they eat what I throw away, and dogs piss on 'em. They got a word for 'em, they're called bums. And without a job, residence, or legal tender, that's what you're gonna be – a fuckin' bum!

-"Pulp Fiction" (1994)

I'm finished.
Nate

*- Loosely translated.