Going Bowling, Part Deux.

Here's the second installment of my bowl preview. It's going to get a little more analytical, a little more serious, and a whole lot longer. On unrelated note, my Appleton Smoke got... um... smoked last weekend which knocked me out of contention for the regular season fantasy league championship. But the playoffs are a whole different ballgame and I'm coming for you, Uncle Matt!

Oh, and Reggie Bush wins the Heisman tomorrow night. This is one of those Ricky Williams / Ron Dayne type of years. Nobody even came close to him by the end of the year.

(On another completely unrelated note, I saw the best SNL of the season last Saturday hosted by stand up superstar Dane Cook. You mean to tell me this guy couldn't carry a sitcom or something? "Everybody Loves Raymond" is on for 10 years, but Dane Cook doesn't get a pilot? He started with his standup monologue and stole most of the sketches he was in. I was delighted to watch the first legitimately funny SNL of the season. Now, on with the show!)

MasterCard Alamo Bowl, Dec. 28- San Antonio, TX
Michigan v. Nebraska
Needless to say, this is not where this season was supposed to end up for the maize and blue. I remember watching the Wolverines on Sept. 10 (when they were still in the top 5) as they tried to come back against Notre Dame and thinking, "Uh-oh. This team isn't as good as everyone thought." It also seems that they have a hard time coming back against anyone and always lose that game or two that they probably just shouldn't lose. Granted, three out of the four teams they lost to this year (Wisconsin, Notre Dame, Ohio St.) were pretty darned good and they did beat the team that finished #3 in the BCS, but these were supposed to be wins when the season began (with the possible exception of OSU.)

It is hard to use the words "consistently mediocre" about a team that has won a national championship in the last decade and a Big Ten title as recently as last year, but at some points that is how I feel about this team. Every year as a Wolverine fan, you just wait for the other shoe to drop. If we make it through the Notre Dame game, there is always the Ohio St game, provided we even make it through the Michigan St. game or when we go to Camp Randall to play Bucky. Do you think this is the way USC fans have gone into the last two years? Besides Oklahoma, do you think Texas looks at any game on their schedule and says, "Man, I wish we could just skip them this year!" Miami? How about Georgia? I want to start looking at the Wolverine's schedule and feel like Ohio St. is the only game we need to worry about, and even then, worry only slightly. That is the feeling an elite college football team should have. I just haven't seen that from the Wolverines. I think my buddy Corey, a U of M grad student, put it best by saying, "One of the great subtleties of Michigan athletics seems to be the lack of a killer instinct; that'll keep you going to mediocre bowls for decades at a time but prevent outright dominance."

In this game, on this day, Michigan wins the Alamo Bowl. Nebraska sucks hard. Ironically, eight years ago, this should have been the matchup for the National Championship. Today, in 2005 it'll be an entry in the media guide that makes us look back in a few years and think, "What the hell happened that season?"

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, Dec. 30- Nashville, TN
Minnesota v. Virginia
There's nothing quite like a matchup of a 6-5 team playing a 7-4 team that finished 7th in their conference. In fact, Virginia was tied for the second to worst conference record (3-5) in the ACC and finished 5th in the ACC Coastal division... out of 6 teams. People complain every year about how there are too many bowl games and usually I disagree. I think there should be a bowl for teams from the smaller conferences to go to if they have a good year. But this game is the best argument for why we don't need a Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl. I like Laurence Maroney and Minnesota in this one... if they absolutely have to play it.

Vitalis Sun Bowl, Dec. 30- El Paso, TX
UCLA v. Northwestern
I love this game. UCLA's resurgence will certainly provide an interesting subplot for them and cross town big brother USC for years to come. Northwestern is going through one of those resurrections they have every decade or so when they are actually competitive. Both teams allow around 450 yards per contest and Northwestern averages about 490 yards/game to UCLA's 429 yards. Final score: UCLA 51, NU 47

Independence Bowl, Dec. 30- Shreveport, LA
South Carolina v. Missouri
I can't tell you how jazzed I am to see Steve Spurrier coaching in a bowl game again. Hell, I was tickled that he's coaching in college, period. In Big Ten country, we get so used to vanilla coaches that only speak in terms of "They're a good team. We need to play better. We've got stuff to work on. They played good today." Having a mouthpiece like Steve Spurrier in college football is crucial in my opinion. Wait until he gets his South Carolina teams really good and starts referring to the Florida Gators as the Iguanas after he hangs 50 points on 'em. Can't wait. Carolina wins going away.

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl, Dec. 30- Atlanta, GA
Miami (FL) v. LSU
You can make an argument that Miami hasn't been the same since they got jobbed in the Fiesta Bowl against Ohio St. a couple of years ago. They should have had their back to back titles. LSU is, in my opinion, still dealing with a lack of respect even though they went to the national title game two years ago... and won the damned thing! Remember, even though Matt Leinart from USC is going for his "third straight national championship" at USC, it was actually the LSU Tigers that won the BCS title in 2004. I think Miami wins this guy.

Meineke Car Care Bowl, Dec. 31- Charlotte, NC
South Florida v. NC State
The Meineke Car Care Bowl is a New Year's Eve bowl? South Florida is playing in a New Year's Eve Bowl? Are they sure the date is right on this one? The same South Florida that had no football program 10 years ago? Isn't that just ducky? I like South Florida in this one. Because I have nothing else to say, five teams from Florida made a bowl game this year (UCF, South Florida, Florida, Florida St., Miami.) That's gotta be like a record or something.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl, Dec 31.- Memphis, TN
Tulsa v. Fresno St.
A few things you may or may not have known about Tulsa, the home of the University of Tulsa Golden Hurricanes. Eighty-four percent of its residents have a high school diploma. It is the birthplace of Garth Brooks. The auto theft rate in Tulsa is 892 per 100,000 people. Finally, there are no bodies of water near Tulsa, making the mascot of Golden Hurricanes seem ridiculous! Fresno St. rolls the Hurricanes.

EV1.net Houston Bowl, Dec 31.- Houston, TX
TCU v. Iowa St.
By the time this game is played, chances are I'll already getting my New Year's party on. TCU wins a close one.

AT&T Cotton Bowl, Jan 2.- Dallas, TX
Alabama v. Texas Tech
Because of the NFL games, there are no bowls on New Year's Day this year and I can't be the only one that feels weird about that. I've liked Texas Tech all season and I'm not changing now.

Outback Bowl, Jan 2.- Tampa, FL
Iowa v. Florida
Even though the NFL has moved this game to the second of January, I'd like to share some random quotes from Capital One Bowls past (remember, the game starts at 11AM): "When did you finally pass out last night?" "Remember that fight we saw last night?" "Oh my god, does anyone have some aspirin?" "Did Michigan just get scored on again?" "I'm never drinking again..." This year I'm going with Florida over the Hawkeyes.

Toyota Gator Bowl, Jan. 2- Jacksonville, FL
Louisville v. Virginia Tech
Matchup of two teams that had big things expected of them at the beginning of the year. Both spent time very highly ranked and there was even talk of whether or not the Hokies should go to the championship game as recently as early November. I'll go with Underachiever Tech over Underacheiverville.

I'm going to save my take on Wisconsin as well as the BCS games for another couple of days. Until then, this is Nathan Holtslander with Beano Cook saying, "Ron Powlus will win four Heisman trophies!"

I'm finished,
Nate