Okay, I let this slide every year around this time, but I am finished. Done. Fine! I'm tired of being shamed and badgered by people that I just can't get away from, as they are everywhere. And the bells! The bells! The bells, bells, bells, bells! Of course, I am talking about the foot soldiers of the Salvation Army. They encamp themselves at Shopko, Wal-Mart, K-Mart (or K-Mart/Sears if you've read today's financial news), bars, gas stations, your living room, EVERYWHERE!
Now This is what I want: A card that you can buy from the Salvation Army indicating fufillment of annual contributions. Oh you know the situation, you walk out of the store and there's that volunteer standing out in the cold with a red bucket and that town crier type bell who looks at you like a Scrooge McDuck if you don't give any money. Wouldn't it be nice to whip out a "Salvation Card" to show that you're not miserly, just a plan-ahead-type of person. There could be a huge market for this! No more shame for not giving to whatever cause the Salvation Army supports! No more retirees glaring at you for not doing your part! It will be awesome! Maybe we should think bigger: A card that takes care of anyone begging for change, or telemarketers, or tax collectors or...
I'm finished,
Nate
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1 comment:
The key is to not look them in the eye.
Or you could just give your loose change to help the poor people you miserly bastard.
Yeah, I go with the eye thing too.
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