And finally, number one.

OK, before I get to #1, I've gotta admit this was sort of a downer of an idea filled with disdain, laced with just a dash of contempt. I have just been on that kind of a kick lately. Things will certainly liven up in the future. Before I explain #1 I have to mention "those also receiving votes."

Honorable mention: X Box, Michael Moore, the town of Engadine, "The Reason" by Hoobastank, Hudson's fries, any movie with Julia Roberts in it (exception for "Ocean's Eleven"), marijuana, Michigan Tech basketball, Coca-Cola, figure skating, Jello, fishing, hunting, deer in general, time between NBA finals and college football season (so, now.), e-mail spam and most forwards, musicals, and the closest to making the list: road construction.

Drumroll, please.

This is the moment where all of Ashly's curiosity will be vanquished. Are you ready?

1) Hot air hand dryers- I ABSOLUTELY HATE THESE GOD DAMNED THINGS! Presumably the brainchild of hippies and the French, these things have been ruining my public restroom experiences for as long as I can remember. Few scenarios will frustrate me more than spending a minute rubbing my hands under the hot air only to end up using my portable towel (i.e. my pants) to finish the job! I pretty sure that paper towels are the undisputed champ of hand drying efficiency. Put some god damned paper towels in there!

I distinctly remember asking my mother when I was like 4, "Why? Why blow dryer?" Her response: "Um. They're better for the environment?" But they're not better for the environment! They blow out hot freaking air! How does the air get hot? I'll give you a hint, IT'S NOT BY SOLAR POWER! Not to mention the fact that you rarely get your hands dry the first time, so you push it again. That uses more electricity, which increases our need for more fossil fuels, which will eventually lead to the world choking on it's own freaking pollution as well as putting a Democrat in office. (No, I do not have any scientific data to back that claim up.)

The only humorous thing about these villians of the dry hand, are the instructions. Step 1) Push button. Step 2) Rub hands gently under air. REALLY!?!? How in the hell else could it work? Push button, then repeatedly bang head against air nozzle? There's one button and one place that the god damned air can come out! Condoms? NO! Those are in the other machine, jackass!

Perhaps I can someday come to terms with hot air drying technology. In a time where multi drying options in public restrooms are the norm, perhaps I can learn to co-exist with these blowing tools. Someday, the urge to take a hand dryer out and beat the living shiznit out of it fax-machine-in-Office-Space style, may pass.

Just kidding! Burn in the public restrooms of hell, you bastards!

I'm finished.
Nate