Randomness, Vol 14

You didn't think the Randomness had gone away for good, did ya?

Oh, Jesse James. I think in this post Tiger world, we are a little more accustomed to celebrities cheating. That being said, the girl has tattoos on her forehead, did you really think this was going to end up well for you?

I'm not sure what freaks me out more, the first scene in the movie Alien where an alien burst out of a persons chest, or when someone talks to me while I'm using a urinal. Yeah, it does look like we are going to have some good weather this weekend, could you maybe wait until I'm washing my hands to talk to me about it? Thanks, bro.

Every time we get technology updates at work, our department starts to behave like we are in the command center at NORAD and we just went to DEFCON 2. "I think it's trying to install the updates... Wait, hold on... What is this window!?! I've got an unidentified window here!! Is your computer doing this, too!?! Talk to me, people!!!" Also, I'm about .5-1.15% less productive at work in the days after I change my password. You know how hard it is to remember that my new password is "SuP3rJONASbros" right away?

Philadelphia is proposing a tax on sugary drinks (soda, etc...) as a way to combat the city's budget deficit. I heard this and thought, "What are we talking here, an extra 15-20 cents per bottle or can? That's reasonable." Nope $.02 per ounce! So, a 2 liter bottle (which is approximately 64oz) that let's says costs $1.99, would now have $1.28 tacked on for tax. Does this seem excessive to anyone else, or am I just overreacting?

If you only ever do one thing for me, read this article: "The Internet? Bah!" by Clifford Stoll from the Feb 27, 1995 issue of Newsweek. This guy... could not have been more wrong about everything he wrote in this article. Thanks to the fellas over at the Uhh Yeah Dude podcast for pointing their listeners in the direction of this story. Truly one for the ages.

I think the above story is laughable... and then I hear statements like the following from some middle aged lady in a restaurant a couple weeks ago: "As I understand it, if you have what they call a "smart phone" or another name for it is an "iPhone" then anyone can automatically know where you are currently located on this site called Twitter." Yeah, lady. The way you understand it is wicked not correct. They were also mad at "that young girl that beat Meryl Streep for the Oscar." You mean Sandra Bullock? Cause she's 45. It's certainly not ancient, but it's not like she lost to Ellen Page or Megan Fox.

Oh, MTV. I noticed in the channel lineup that MTV showed the movie "Phone Booth" a few nights back. Does MTV hate showing videos that much? I mean, I guess I understood when they started filling every evening with "15 & Pregnant", "The Hills", "RW/RR Challenge" and other original programming. Now you're showing bad movies? You mean to tell me you couldn't fill that time with music videos? Kanye West said that Beyonce's video was one of the best of all time. I would have no idea. Never saw it, because instead of videos they show "Phone Booth" and 8 year old episodes of South Park (which really have not aged well.) If you don't provide an outlet for the art form, innovation is bound to get stifled. We won't have any more great videos. No more Black Hole Sun. No more November Rain. No more Fantastic Voyage. No more Make 'Em say Uhh! OK, we could do without more of that last one. I know it's a tired argument, but you're running out of excuses to not show videos. You're also running out of time. I won't be in your demographic forever. Some would argue I'm already not.

If you're ever feeling a little down about yourself and thinking things like, "maybe I'm not that smart" or "it seems like everyone has their stuff together more than I do."Just take a few moments and read the user responses to just about any CNN.com story. You will feel so much better about yourself afterward, I promise.

For example, I read an article from last week about how it was ruled that Anna Nicole Smith's estate is not entitled to millions from her late husband the Crypt Keeper... Oh, I'm sorry, his name was J. Howard Marshall, he just looked a lot like the Crypt Keeper when he passed on at the age of 90. Anna Nicole of course died in 2007 as the result of a drug overdose. Here are some of my favorite responses:

"Creativeker" says:
Unfortunately, Anna Nicole Smith blew her life on drugs. She could have lived a very long life had she taken care of her own health. With that kind of money, why not buy health spa and fitness center? Educate to eat healthier and so forth?

Because Anna Nicole totally struck me as the kind of person that would "buy health spa and fitness center." Anyone who saw her E! True Hollywood story would know that she needed a lot of help, I'm not sure that buying a health spa and fitness center was the silver bullet for the psychological problems and addictions she had.

"john80" says:
Funny how the internet allows anyone to blog, and at the same time has made the press lazy

Actually, that isn't funny. Oh, and it doesn't make any sense.

"john80" also says:
War, healthcare, escalating gang violence from Mexico, missing affluent white children, missing poor black children, climate change... I'm glad when I choose to have the three top story headlines displayed on my homepage that something about the Anna Nicole Smith saga makes the list.

Really john80, you're having trouble finding news stories about war and healthcare reform? Have you turned on a TV or a radio or just been in the world recently? You can get your fix of those stories by accident these days. Also, while this was at its base a story about a Playmate marrying an old guy, the case did at some point go to the effin US Supreme Court. There are some legitimate reasons for it to be on CNN.com

From "muser":
Golllly, these people are so rich they get fight over money after they're dead. Who cares just give it to Haiti the kid doesn't need the money as much as she will need a shrink if all this crap about everything surrounding her is always a fight

You can find more musings from muser at battle-against-proper-grammar-and-punctuation.com

"Manc6267" chimes in:
thats good news if you ask me, neither she nor her next of kin deserve money for doing nothing more then sleeping with an old guy...

Remember the part in the story where she was married to him when he died? While the whole "Playmate married to an octagenarian" thing was admittedly a little creepy, she did have a legal document that said she was his spouse.

"OckamzRazor" says:
Interesting that all the key players are ghosts now. Wouldn't you like to sit in on the little afterlife conversation? "I REALLY, REALLY loved you and it wasn't for the money..." "Yeah, right. I saw the way you were talking to Elvis..."

That's funny. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

"Vikings2009"
One word...KARMA

The guy who's a fan of the team that got in bed with Brett Favre so he could stick it to his old team which may have disgusted the football gods so much that they rained down one of the most shocking playoff losses ever on them is talking about Karma?

"JMPGFOTO"
Afraid that I cannot say I am sorry for either side. I think all of the money from the old geezer should go to charity. The old man's family are a bunch of greedy, dishonest, scum and Anna Nicole was undoubtedly in for the money of the old buzzard. Just dump the whole crowd in a hole and bury them. Atleast the son also bought the farm so maybe there is some justice in that.

I love how so many people think the legal system should work. "Well, if we don't like these people, we should be able to kill them and give all their money to charity." I'm pretty sure this isn't how the system works. Law students, correct me if I'm wrong.

"lolotte" writes in:
Gold digger be aware.... you are not always winning. Think twice before choosing this job.

Not to be a dick and nitpick here, but you probably meant "Gold digger beware."

"bipar08" thinks:
what a waste of court time wouldn't it be better used for drug dealers that should be in prison,

Another guy named "DeFace" actually made a good rebuttal to this: "This was probate court." So, yeah, 75 drug dealers didn't go free because the Anna Nicole case had to go through the courts. Even so, we may have problems in this country arresting drug dealers and keeping them in prison, but do we really have a problem getting them prosecuted?

"Guest" says:
Good, this is how it should be. You keep what you earn and it stays within the family. Some money grubbing woman shouldn't be able to sleep her way into your family fortune.

Once again. Legal effin document. They were married.

"KinjiruRM" does some proofreading:
"Marshall's family said in a written statment. " - Wow CNN, too busy to bother with spell check?

That is actually a good point.

I'm finished,
Nate